Ah yes...this word...it's jap...Maa Yi...i'm not so sure about the spelling nor am i sure about the meaning...As far as i know, this words means oh well...which describes my emotions now pretty well...I just found out...or rather, guessed...there's this girl i kinda like, you know..i think...i'm not sure of my emotions...she's pretty special...living overseas...we msg pretty often, ya know...earlier, i was checking her friendster profile...when i chanced upon this...this...revelation? turns out, she's been in contact with another guy...with friendster comments...but...far as i know, she's pretty popular...so...whether or not this means anything, i know not, but...what i'm sure is...this brings back the emotions...the dark emotions i was so prone to feeling when it was last year...due to HER... this...this emotion...i can't describe it...it's too...weird...i feel like laughing...in an evil, maniacal way...because...it's like...everything falls apart...i'm laughing at my own life...she was my pillar of hope...she made me believe in life again...when i was lost, i turned to her...now...now what? EHAHAHAHAHAHA ( oh man i'm tired of typing that. Insert Joker laugh here)
10:24 AM



Today's Deepavali...I went out with my friends to my two teacher's houses...they went to another guy's house as well, but, i wasn't invited, so, where can la i crash the party right? anyway, i got picked up by kah nyan, driving aaron's car...man, it was pretty scary..since she drove auto but this one is manual...the car kept jerking front and back...until she got the hang of it...then sometimes the car just broke down and have to start again...haha...we went to vee liam's church and there, we waited for close to an hour! man, i was so angry then...when he FINALLY arrived, we went to puan geetha's house. Man, it was packed. We arrived pretty late, but luckily there was still food. The mutton curry and the satay was the best. Especially the satay. So many ppl ordered it, the sellers had to take stock from their home...now THAT shows just how good they are...anyway, later, we went to parkson, since there was still time before we went to the puan alice's house. There, we walked, wandered, and eventually settled at the bowling alley. Aaron challenged Yee Kheng to a bowling match. Jocelyn also played. The rest of us just watched. Result : Yee Kheng won. After that, we went to puan alice's house. This one was more moderate, i guess...we went and ate a whole lot of snacks, especially muruku (damn those were good)...later we ate rice...one of the dishes, the curry chicken, was very hot and very spicy. It was red wei! Syok ah! Later, we finally went back and i went back home. Today has been a pretty nice experience...until...
10:06 AM



People used to say, 'As long as you work hard enough'. Now, it just won't cut it anymore. When you fail, does people see that you've worked hard enough? They only see the fact that you've failed. When you tell people about it, do they say, 'as long as you've worked hard enough? No...they only say, 'It's your own fault. Why didn't you work harder?' But, what do they know? I tried. I worked hard. But I still fail. And do they say 'as long as you've worked hard enough'? No...they blame me. They go and say 'it's your own fault. Who asked you to surf so much internet? Who asked you to play so many games? you should stop playing games'. It's like, their brain is wired to the same reasons. Games, internet, etc. Even when it doesn't have anything to do with it, especially considering my situation. Next time, I'll fill this in.
8:21 AM



I think i understand now...Nakama...For those who do not know, nakama are teammates, or partners, and the like. I used to wonder...does this world really have nakama? All those reading of manga lead me to believe that they actually do exist. People who are always there for you, people who fight for you, and people who believe in you...I believed that they exist. But, now i know...in this world, there is no real nakama. And there probably never will. There will not be people who act like that now. We all are selfish. Humans are selfish creatures. Myself included. Nakama?! There are no such thing!
8:08 AM