All of a sudden...I just felt...empty. It was like my soul just became empty. Dark. Hollow. I felt like...I wanted to reach light. You see, earlier, I was going through those facebook quizzes...then there was these stuff about darkness and stuff...and then I just felt...I...Do i really like the darkness? I yearn for light at times...My soul is trapped in darkness...I reach for light, ( light = my friends, people I can hang out with) but the darkness...it just drags me back down...further enveloping me...
6:42 AM



Been a while since i last posted, hasn't it? Well, here I am again...more...disappointed in the world than ever. Well, it's not like I can do anything bout it, right?

I just can't help but feel that the world is slowly going into chaos and the only things humans are doing right now is making things worse. Why is it that humans have to be so selfish? Why is it that humans must think of their own gain and personal interests all the time? Well, that's just how humans are, i guess...

Okay! Let's talk bout some happier things! I finished Metal Gear Solid 3 : Snake Eater! It was one great game, i tell you. Compelling story, great gameplay, and excellent music! And i'm not exaggerating. And it honestly has one of the greatest boss battles of all time. My personal favourite is the battle with a guy called The Fury. He's this cosmonaut, you see. He wears this big space suit, complete with the head-dome and all those stuff. He says that while in space, and when going back to earth, he saw a vision : the world in flames. And he holds infinite fury towards the world and living things, so hence the name The Fury. Okay, this explanation of sorts is not 100% accurate, but just hang on to it for now. If you really wanna know, then go play the game yourself! Back to topic. The Fury fights using an awesome flamethrower. And he has this jetpack that lets him fly, or at least glide. You fight him in a dark, damp place, where you can't see too clearly, and neither can him. That's when he burns the whole darn place, making it bright!

Heh, my talk about The Fury was a bit too long, huh? He's a part of a unit alled The Cobras, which consists of The Pain, The Fear, The End, The Fury and The Joy. All of them are emotions that tehy bring into battle. And it's the emotions they show when they die. Really, it's more awesome than it sounds. Each of them have their own fighting styles and abilities. For a real suspenseful fight, you oughta check out The End. He's this 100 year old guy who can blend with the forest, making him almost invisible in the forest. And he's a legendary sniper to boot. So imagine : you're fighting a guy who's a legendary sniper and who you can't see. And he's shooting at you constantly. Think about that!

Well, I can go on and on and on, but who really reads this stuff, huh? Well, the few that do aren't really gamers...So, i'm gonna end this here. And oh, from now on, I'm gonna try to express myself at the end of my posts with the name of one or more of the Cobra Unit, to show my respect of sorts to them.

A parting gift : a music video of the game



Current mood : The Joy, The End
9:46 AM



Sigh...D-Day has come and passed...and in one fell swoop, it shattered me. Even now, I'm still reeling from the effects the results had on me. Even now, i feel like I failed...Although I didn't get an F for any of my subjects (thanks God) but still...I mean...2B 2C la weh...i was hoping for at least 1A...right now, i feel as if i let everyone down...like i let myself down....

At first, I felt really down...then with my friends around, i started to felt better. But i was still kinda alone in the school. Well, at most we just said the usual stuff, how were your hols, and later how was your results...we only talked about those stuff...who am i kidding huh? who really gives a damn bout me (those that were in school, that is)

Well, after that, went to eat with some of my friends...yeah, i was still cheerful at that time...but, when i got home, it was as if reality set in. I couldn't exactly face my parents...i was...in a state of shock, so to say...I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to be alone. I sat on the sofa idly for about half an hour...i didn't even look at the TV. I just sat there, and covered my face with my palm.

But soon after that, i at least regained enough spirit to open my computer and surf the net. And i felt better. And for the rest of the day, I just surfed the net and played games...I didn't want to be bothered by anything.

And so we come to today. The post-apocalyptic status was here. The more i thought about it, the more i felt like a failure. But that was just the start of it. As soon as I went on MSN, a person's personal message pierced me like a sword. It read : I worked my ass of for the papers. And his nick was : (insert name here) says results were sweet! And the results he got was 1A and 3B or something. Now, i'm not commenting on his results or anything, just his nick and personal msg. Was he implying that the others did not work their asses of? Was he implying that he worked harder than everyone else? Was he implying that other people did not work hard?

Why is it that people automatically think that other people didn't work hard if they didn't get good results? Why is it that people judge another person's effort by their results? Why? And so i am pretty pissed off these two days...
7:16 AM



Heh...seems i'm back again after a hiatus of sorts...Well, it HAS been a while since i last blogged (last post was february 16), and i guessed it was time i blogged again. Well, let's start things off with...

I don't HATE her anymore!!! Well, it happened some time ago, but i caught her online one day, and i bombed her with questions. Actually, she was online, then went offline quickly. I bombed her with questions (even though she was offline) and then just went on with my stuff, since she'll see my questions eventually. Oh, I forgot to mention, after a while since my last post, the hatred in me started fading away and was replaced with questions...questions on why, and more why. So, i bombed her, and that very night she was online...and guess what? she bombed me back! She kept insisting i was being over-sensitive, and that she nvr ignored me and all that...And so a debate of sorts ensued. Surprisingly, she managed to counter my questions with certain facts. But, eventually, a feeling inside me appeared. It told me to grab this chance and just make peace. Why must i continue feeling hatred, or habouring those questions? So, i took the chance, and eventually made peace with her. We're griends again! Wahahahha!! Actually, at this time, i realized something...who is right? who is wrong? does it really matter? i'll elaborate on this some more later...

RESULTS!!! STPM results are gonna come out on march 10. damn scared weh...i wonder wat will happen if i get bad results..but...wat's done is done huh? And thinking back, i've had a pretty good holidays...beat quite some games...including:

1. Persona 4 (very good game!)
2. Crimson Tears (high blood pressure inducing game)
3. Shining Tears (average...lots of hack and slashing)
4. Dragon Quest VIII (good game!)
5. Ar tonelico (good)
6. Ar tonelico II (good)
7. Metal saga (ok la)

Well, I guess i'm gonna leave my results and my fate to God. Well, what else can I do? Hahahaha...I live by the motto : see step walk step (literal translation from chinese saying : kin pou hang pou)

And on to the topic of right and wrong. What is right? What is wrong? Both sides think their on the right side. Both will continue fighting forever if none would relent and give in. And all that would bring is chaos and damnation. Also, I live by these words : to each his own. I heard this the first time in spiderman 1. Green goblin and spiderman was chatting and goblin used this phrase, which basically means : each of us has our own way of thinking and way of doing things. And that's why I don't argue who is right much. Because each of us think we are right.

Okay, that's all for now. It's been a long post, huh? But these things have been on my heart for a while, so, this is it for now. More coming soon...what with the results and all...
11:05 AM