I...I have nothing now, there is a hole where my heart used to be, dripping with blood and dark matter. I have no one now, all that remains is a shadow that cackles and laugh at me from the darkness. I am nobody now, having lost both things and people.

Hey there. Actually, originally i wanted to use those lines as the main anchor of a story i was coming up (in my mind, since i seem to have become a bit too lazy to write anything anymore). Now, i guess a bit of this can be applied to me. hahaha

A friend of mine asked what happened to me that caused me to use those lines. Answer : everything. Everything culminates to this point, everything boils up to now, and when i'm left alone, left for...more sociable, less weird people...my mind springs into action.

Now i remember. I remember that emotion. The darkness pulling me. Now i know why workaholics exist. Or gamerholic or whatever-holics u can come up with. When you work, you forget. You don't think. You feel less. Emotions cease to exist when you're too busy to even think about it.

whenever i see other people happy, i see other people laughing away, i see other people actually being with people, i get...jealous? I'm not sure if that's the correct word haha. i am reminded of that gaping hole within me.

But i'm not down for the count yet. Oh no. I'm gonna try to fight this emotion. Though it feels like a black hole is forming in my heart (weird feeling, coming from emotions i think. or hormones), i'll try to fight it.
4:37 AM